Jesus Christ

You try to live like Jesus, act like Jesus, and think like Jesus and everyone thinks you're a God damned freak.

Dying

The other day my friend reminded me of something. When I was 18 I got a job working in a cafe. I was always the only employee on duty. Just before I got the job I decided to bleached my hair blonde just for fun. Doing so got me more attention than I ever expected or wanted. All sorts of creepy guys would come hang out at the cafe and try to pick up on the blonde. So, one day, the blond dyed her hair brown. Those same creepy guys would come to the cafe and ask me where the blonde was. I told them all that she had dyed. I wasn't lying.

Don't Be A Butt Face

It's not a good idea to keep your eye cream and your jock itch medicine in the same drawer.

Dawn

when I woke up this morning and turned on the news the announcer broadcasted that the people of Phoenix had woken up to the worst rainstorm there in about 50 years. The same day my friend, Dawn, is moving to town. It does not surprise me. Dawn is a force of nature. We will miss her in California. We know how to handle her here. I only hope Arizona can.

Nerd

My car was the only car in the entire parking lot at school on labor day. Probably all three parking lots. It was the first time I ever got to park in the shade.

WW III

My nephew is named Grey but sometimes we call him Little Richard because he is obsessed with the sinking of the Titanic and World War II just like my dad. And he's hyperactive just like my dad. This summer he got to go to Pearl Harbor and he was beside him self. I thought he was going to explode. The other day I was driving somewhere with my nephew and his best friend in the back seat of my car. I looked back and Grey was picking his nose. Lately he is almost as obsessed with picking his nose as he is with the sinking of the Titanic and World War II. I gave him a look as to say, "Knock that off." He stopped for a brief moment then smiled and kept on going. Then he felt like he needed to explain to me and Sullivan why he picked his nose. He told us that what he was doing was trying to get the bad germs out and that the Germans are the bad germs and they are always battling with the good germs. Sometimes the good germs are winning and sometimes the bad germs are. This is why you get a cold. It kind of makes sense.

USA!

World Cup Soccer in Brazil will start on June 12th. I, and the rest of my Brazilian soccer team, were saving up to go to Brazil for the event, but, when the time came, only a few of us are actually going to make the trip. I got in a car accident and had to spend my money I had on a new used car. And my brother is having hip replacement surgery in the middle of all the festivities. He gets to sit around and watch as many games as he wants. Good timing on his part. At least a pre-game came to us in SF at the defunct Candlestick Park. USA vs. Azerbaijan. We won 2-0! I probably haven't been to Candlestick since a heavy metal concert in the 80's and I was reminded of why they need to tear it down. It was freezing cold and the seats are sloped in such a way that you can't see the field unless you are standing up. So, they didn't really need to have seats since everyone on the lower level, with the expensive seats, was standing up most of the time. Candlestick Park is where the Beatles played their last concert. Paul McCartney will play his last show there this summer before they demolish it. If you don't know where Azerbaijan is it's north of Iran and east of Turkey.