Whale of a Tail

On friday I spent the night on my friend, Angela's, boat. There were 7 of us and we all woke up at 5am and sailed out to the Farallon Island, 30 miles off the coast, where we got to see about 12 whales on their migration north. Two of them were so close to the boat we had to turn it to get out of their way. The closest one was 20 to 25 feet away. I don't have any pictures to prove it because I forgot my camera, but it really did happen.

Seeing Double

The other night I was having a hard time distinguishing my water from my gin and tonic.

Fuck 'em

If they aren't going to make bras that fit me then I'm not going to wear them.

Never Never Land

I think I figured out where Never Never Land is. That island where Peter Pan lived where nobody had to grow up. It is really San Francisco. Only we don't call it an island we call it a bubble. With my wages I will Never Never own my own house let alone Never Never be able to leave my rent controlled apartment because I'd have to pay 5 times as much for the same amount of space and I Never Never even make 5 times my rent. You Never Never have to get married and have kids if you Never Never want to because all tradition is out the door here. Gay people have Never Never been treated like grown ups so they Never Never have to act like one if they don't want to. I Never Never go out on the weekends and Never Never take advantage of the things the city has to offer anymore after getting robbed at gunpoint. And I Never Never get asked out on a date ever anyway. Alice in Wonderland is living in Never Never Land. She is wondering why she lives there.

Alice S. and Alice S.

When I went to NY I finally got to meet my friend's daughter who she named after me. Here is a photo of Alice Shaw and Alice Shehadi.

Handy Nasty

A little over a week ago I was staying at a friend's apartment in the lower east side of Manhattan. I woke up and got myself a cup of tea and as I sipped it I noticed a large book on the shelf. It was on the Han Dynasty but all the letters were capitalized and the space between the N and the D was very slim and I wasn't wearing my glasses and I'm dyslexic to start with. To me it read, HANDY NASTY. I wondered what that book was all about.

Don't Try This At Home

If you decide to get strep throat I wouldn't recommend pairing it with bronchitis. But if you do you mind as well add your period on top of the mix just to take things up a notch. I guess there are worse ways to spend Valentine's Day. Right?