Cats

Did you hear that Tiger Woods isn't really a tiger he's a cheetah. And I think I might officially be a cougar.

We Are The Champions! Again!

Me and my Brazilian soccer team are the champions for the second season in a row. The first photo is from the first season and second is from this season. I can't wait for next season! It starts next weekend.

I Try Hard To Be A Girl. Really.

It might not seem like it but I really do try very hard to be feminine. But I grew up on a ranch with 3 boys and I pretty much thought I was one till I was...well, ok, maybe I still think I am one. Anyway, yesterday, Sunday, when I went out to get in my car to go to my soccer game, I realized that I had a flat tire. On Saturday I got a brand new Macy's Visa card in the mail. Guess what is the only thing on my new Macy's card? Yep. Four new tires for my car. The guy at the tire shop told me I just bought new shoes for my car.

Marriage Proposal

I can't believe I haven't told you. I was in Israel last April and while I was staying with my friends their house keeper came by to clean. She was from a nearby Arab town. When she met me she asked my friend, Sharon, where my husband was. When Sharon told her I didn't have a husband the woman looked confused. She asked Sharon if I had children and when Sharon said no she looked even more confused. She told Sharon that there was a man in her town who was looking to marry a woman just my age. A very nice man, she said. He was 70 and just out of prison. I thought it might be hard to sneak a 70 year old Arab man who had been in prisoned past Israeli security and into the U.S. so I guess I will have to go back. I have to go back anyway because I left a sock at my friends house when I did the laundry.

Ups and Downs

This has been the best year of my life and the worst year of my life. And it's not over yet. You can see my latest show review in this months issue of Artforum.

Identity

I always feel like nobody recognizes me and I think I might know why. Not too long ago someone pointed a gun at me and told me to give him my purse so I did. One of the items that was included in the package I gave him was my I.D. I've had the same photo on my drivers license for about 15 years and when I went to replace it they had me take a new one. Just to be clear, I do not go to a tanning salon and I do not dye my hair. I'm not sure what happened but I'm glad I have my brother, Virgil, who is the same coloring as me and has gone through the same changes I have. Just before I turned 40 I was so excited I couldn't wait. And when it finally happened I had to tell everybody. I was not happy being a young person and I think it shows here. I can't wait till I'm 80.

Viva Brazilia!

No, I'm not talking about the FIFA Confederation Cup they won today in South Africa (it was a pretty exciting game but I wasn't sure who I was supposed to cheer for). I'm talking about my Brazilian soccer team. We won the league championship! We all got t-shirts! Then we went out and drank beer for about 5 hours. It was after 3 games and a fourth one we had to wait out. I've never eaten a hamburger so fast in my life. I think I only took one bite and it was gone. The best part about winning is that we are by far the oldest team in the league. Me being the youngest woman on the team and some of the men are at least 50. Most of my friends don't know I have this other life they just simply wonder why my face is always sunburned in the winter time. Now you you know why. If you ever want a good laugh come out and watch me chase giant men around the field. Everyone else thinks it's funny till I shut them down. Left fullback.

Merry Christmas!

I can't believe I forgot to post this picture. It's my nephew Grey's Christmas photo.

You Might Not Recognize Me

My trip to Israel must have taken its toll on me. Maybe it was the jet lag. Or the trip to the Dead Sea. Or prospect of the 70 yr. old Arab man who just got out of prison that someone there was trying to set me up with while I was there. Anyway, I was at the Goodwill last weekend and I found something I wanted so I went up to the counter to pay for it and the cashier asked me if I was a senior citizen.

Erez Golan and the Golan Heights

Here is a photo of my friend, Erez Golan, in front of the Golan Heights. We were at the Sea of Galilee where Jesus walked on water. I tried it but it didn't work though I did run into a rock when I was swimming and got up on top of it and I think I tricked my friend for a second. But he is Jewish and they all believe that Jesus just knew where all the rocks were. I would almost believe it if someone told me that Jesus walked on the water at the Dead Sea. You couldn't sink there if you wanted to.

Black at the Dead Sea

While I was in Israel my friends took me to the Dead Sea. The water is so salty that no organisms can live in it. Hence the name. You can get in the Dead Sea but you can't swim in it. If you try to swim you just flip over onto your back. You just sit there like you are in an inner tube but there is no inner tube. You don't even have to tread water. When you make the trip there it is traditional to smear black mud from the shore all over your body and let it dry before you wash it off. Basically a body mud mask. Just after I washed the mud off of me an Arab boy threw some rocks then stuck his tongue out at me. Maybe I should have left it on.

Mai

This is a photograph of Mai. She lives at the house where I'm staying just outside of Tel Aviv. She is always eating and usually has both hands occupied with food. In this image she has figured out how to eat and still have her pacifier in her mouth. The first day she was here she kept calling me Grandma. She is not long for this world.

Notes from Tel Aviv

I'm having a really hard time finding pork chops around this place.

Another Classic From Portland, OR

This is from the Candy House.

Topiary at a valve and fitting company in Portland, OR.

Today I made lemonade out of lemons

Trauma on top of drama

On monday night my car broke down then I got robbed at gunpoint.

My favorite latest newspaper article

It was about a man who broke into a car with hammer and he happened to leave the hammer in the car. The hammer happened to have his name on it. His first and his last name. The police went to his house where they happened to find the stolen items from the car.

I got new glasses

I got the works. Scratch resistant, anti-glare, progressive, transitional lenses. Kinda like the deluxe car wash.

Insult to Injury

Good News, Bad News

The good new is I don't have a job. The bad new is I don't have a job.

Absent

I haven't written in a while because I almost died. I got this lung thing that almost killed me because, first, I smoked a cigarette, the next day I painted with enamel base paint and the day after that I sanded sheetrock. I should have been wearing a mask for all of those things.