Dying

The other day my friend reminded me of something. When I was 18 I got a job working in a cafe. I was always the only employee on duty. Just before I got the job I decided to bleached my hair blonde just for fun. Doing so got me more attention than I ever expected or wanted. All sorts of creepy guys would come hang out at the cafe and try to pick up on the blonde. So, one day, the blond dyed her hair brown. Those same creepy guys would come to the cafe and ask me where the blonde was. I told them all that she had dyed. I wasn't lying.

Don't Be A Butt Face

It's not a good idea to keep your eye cream and your jock itch medicine in the same drawer.

Dawn

when I woke up this morning and turned on the news the announcer broadcasted that the people of Phoenix had woken up to the worst rainstorm there in about 50 years. The same day my friend, Dawn, is moving to town. It does not surprise me. Dawn is a force of nature. We will miss her in California. We know how to handle her here. I only hope Arizona can.

Nerd

My car was the only car in the entire parking lot at school on labor day. Probably all three parking lots. It was the first time I ever got to park in the shade.

WW III

My nephew is named Grey but sometimes we call him Little Richard because he is obsessed with the sinking of the Titanic and World War II just like my dad. And he's hyperactive just like my dad. This summer he got to go to Pearl Harbor and he was beside him self. I thought he was going to explode. The other day I was driving somewhere with my nephew and his best friend in the back seat of my car. I looked back and Grey was picking his nose. Lately he is almost as obsessed with picking his nose as he is with the sinking of the Titanic and World War II. I gave him a look as to say, "Knock that off." He stopped for a brief moment then smiled and kept on going. Then he felt like he needed to explain to me and Sullivan why he picked his nose. He told us that what he was doing was trying to get the bad germs out and that the Germans are the bad germs and they are always battling with the good germs. Sometimes the good germs are winning and sometimes the bad germs are. This is why you get a cold. It kind of makes sense.

USA!

World Cup Soccer in Brazil will start on June 12th. I, and the rest of my Brazilian soccer team, were saving up to go to Brazil for the event, but, when the time came, only a few of us are actually going to make the trip. I got in a car accident and had to spend my money I had on a new used car. And my brother is having hip replacement surgery in the middle of all the festivities. He gets to sit around and watch as many games as he wants. Good timing on his part. At least a pre-game came to us in SF at the defunct Candlestick Park. USA vs. Azerbaijan. We won 2-0! I probably haven't been to Candlestick since a heavy metal concert in the 80's and I was reminded of why they need to tear it down. It was freezing cold and the seats are sloped in such a way that you can't see the field unless you are standing up. So, they didn't really need to have seats since everyone on the lower level, with the expensive seats, was standing up most of the time. Candlestick Park is where the Beatles played their last concert. Paul McCartney will play his last show there this summer before they demolish it. If you don't know where Azerbaijan is it's north of Iran and east of Turkey.

Duck, Duck, Goose

Every time it rains the roof of the art gallery at Diablo Valley College fills up with water. Every time it fills up with water this pair of ducks shows up to rummage around for food. I shared this picture of the ducks with my sister, Whitney, and she said it was the weirdest photo she'd ever seen. It is sort of hard to make out with the parking lot in the distance.

Me But Not Me

It looks like me on the bicycle but it's not me. Really. I wasn't there. Or maybe I just don't remember it. http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/assignment_7&id=9497046

Pea-Pea

Every week I make what I call a "Bucket of Slop." It's something I can eat all week long. Like chili, or spaghetti sauce, or soup. Something I can throw in a Tupperware container take with me for lunch. Two weeks ago I made my own version of Indian food. Onion, tomato, coconut milk, spices, but mostly chick peas and green peas. So I called it Pea-Pea. It was pretty good at first but one week turned into two weeks and I am starting to get tired of it. Pea-Pea is starting to taste like poo-poo.

Honorary Texan

It turns out that when you are in Texas and the Blue Bonnets are in bloom it is customary to have your photograph taken in the middle of a field of them. Sometimes the road crew has to kill the Blue Bonnets with herbicides because people pull over on the side of the road where they shouldn't just so they can have someone snap a pic. When I was in Austin two weeks ago my friend, Bob (the only person who is allowed to take photos of me because he always makes me look pretty good) had me pose in the middle of the patch on the south side of his house. I put on my blue sweater so I would match the Blue Bonnets. Blue Bonnets look like California Lupin if the Lupin was a grass instead of a bush.

Mums The Word

I just got back from a trip to Austin, Texas and while I was there I made a visit to the Boot Whisperer in Whimberly just Southwest of Austin. She is a German woman who has a shop full of vintage boots. When you get there she has you take off your shoes then she looks at your feet and goes and pulls out the perfect boot in the perfect size. The ones she had me try on first fit just right but they looked too much like the cowboy boots I already own. She had me try on a bunch of other pairs and then I whispered myself. The best pair of boots in the whole place. But I didn't get them. Too pricy. I might have to bite the bullet and call her and have them shipped.

Latest Stuff

http://www.flysfo.com/museum/exhibitions/alice-shaw-exalted-landscape http://workspace-sf.com/aliceshaw.html

Football Season

The other day I was walking down Piedmont Avenue in Oakland after visiting my chiropractor and I passed by the movie theater. At first glance I thought maybe the movie theater had been transformed into a sports arena. Dallas was playing Nebraska here in California. Turns out this weekend it is Dallas Buyers Club vs. Nebraska in the Oscar Awards.

Tommy/Tomy

This semester I have identical male black twins in my class. Their names are Tommy and Tomy. Why is my life so weird? Their birthday is on Valentine's Day. One of them (I don't know which) said it is a real burn on their bday if they are dating someone because, since it is Valentine's Day, they are the one who has to buy a gift. One of the twins (I don't know which one) was telling me that he took a really good photo of his brother holding a camera. I said, "You took a picture of your brother who happens to be your twin and happens to be taking a photo class with you, so, basically you made a self-portrait?" He said, "Yeah. Kind of." Here is my annual valentine.