Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
It's Better To Be Nobody
Quote from a letter by Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll) to Sydney Bowles May 23rd, 1891
In some ways, you know, people that don't exist, are much nicer than people that do. For instance, people that don't exist are never cross: and they never contradict you: and they never tread on your toes! Oh, they're ever so much nicer than people that do exist! However, never mind: you can't help existing you know: and I daresay you're just as nice as if you didn't.
In some ways, you know, people that don't exist, are much nicer than people that do. For instance, people that don't exist are never cross: and they never contradict you: and they never tread on your toes! Oh, they're ever so much nicer than people that do exist! However, never mind: you can't help existing you know: and I daresay you're just as nice as if you didn't.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Reason to move
My best friend in junior high was a born liar, a cheat and a thief. Once a man dropped 10-dollar bill on the floor at the 7-11 and after I pointed it out to him she was so mad at me I thought she was going to kill me.
In the seventh grade she had a babysitting job after school that was two doors up the street from her house. The mother was a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a rich husband. Everything my friend wanted in life. After school the mom would pick up my friend and take her up the hill. Once I went with them and they stopped at the store and bought a can of chocolate frosting and ate the entire thing with their fingers before they got to the house. They didn’t even offer me any.
Both of my friend’s parents worked. We were often at her house alone. In the eight grade she started inviting boys over. The one’s she could manipulate. Whenever she got to the part where she wanted to play strip poker I would tell her I had to call my mom and check to see what time I had to be home. My mom would always tell me to come home whenever I wanted to. I would hang up the phone and say my mom wanted me home.
My friend left her first boyfriend, Mike, for another Mike during a Rolling Stones concert. When the first Mike found out about it he had a mini heart attach and we had to take him to the paramedics at Candlestick Park. They kept asking us what drugs he was on and when we told them none they didn’t believe us because we were teenagers.
In our sophomore year of high school the second Mike moved to Iowa with his mom and Laura went with them. She said she liked it there because, on the most part, people in Iowa weren’t that good looking and, comparatively, she was hot. In California she was just the middle of the road. She felt like she didn’t stand a chance.
My former best friend didn’t marry the second Mike she married another man. She had somehow missed the chance to run for Miss Iowa so after she got married she ran for Mrs. Iowa. She told me that at the interview they had asked her what she would do to resolve the current sausage situation. She thought about it for a while then admitted to them that she wasn’t aware of any sausage situation. Apparently they had asked about a hostage situation but she hadn’t heard them right. Yes, she is a blonde.
In the seventh grade she had a babysitting job after school that was two doors up the street from her house. The mother was a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a rich husband. Everything my friend wanted in life. After school the mom would pick up my friend and take her up the hill. Once I went with them and they stopped at the store and bought a can of chocolate frosting and ate the entire thing with their fingers before they got to the house. They didn’t even offer me any.
Both of my friend’s parents worked. We were often at her house alone. In the eight grade she started inviting boys over. The one’s she could manipulate. Whenever she got to the part where she wanted to play strip poker I would tell her I had to call my mom and check to see what time I had to be home. My mom would always tell me to come home whenever I wanted to. I would hang up the phone and say my mom wanted me home.
My friend left her first boyfriend, Mike, for another Mike during a Rolling Stones concert. When the first Mike found out about it he had a mini heart attach and we had to take him to the paramedics at Candlestick Park. They kept asking us what drugs he was on and when we told them none they didn’t believe us because we were teenagers.
In our sophomore year of high school the second Mike moved to Iowa with his mom and Laura went with them. She said she liked it there because, on the most part, people in Iowa weren’t that good looking and, comparatively, she was hot. In California she was just the middle of the road. She felt like she didn’t stand a chance.
My former best friend didn’t marry the second Mike she married another man. She had somehow missed the chance to run for Miss Iowa so after she got married she ran for Mrs. Iowa. She told me that at the interview they had asked her what she would do to resolve the current sausage situation. She thought about it for a while then admitted to them that she wasn’t aware of any sausage situation. Apparently they had asked about a hostage situation but she hadn’t heard them right. Yes, she is a blonde.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Watch
In April I lost my watch. It wasn't an expensive watch and it didn’t have any sentimental value, I just don’t like loosing things. Also, I had just bought a new band for the old watch before I lost it. If you are a teacher and a wedding photographer you kind of need to know what time it is. I went about a week without a watch thinking I’d find it but it never showed up. Finally, just before I went off to shoot a wedding, I broke down and bought a watch at Walgreen’s for $9.99. It wasn’t bad looking but it had a plastic band. Yesterday, after two months of thinking my old watch would show up, I gave up and went and bought a new band for my new watch. It looks exactly like the plastic band. I can barely tell the difference. Last night at halftime during my soccer game I was standing next to my soccer bag and when I looked down at it I could see my old watch face staring up at me from inside the pocket.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Foxy
On the way home from my soccer game last Thursday I saw a fox. It ran in front of my car in Golden Gate Park. OK. It wasn’t after my soccer game. It was after I went to the bar after my soccer game. But I really did see it. I called a few people on the team to tell them I’d seen a fox and they all believed me this time. About a year ago I was the last to leave the soccer field because I was making a phone call or something and when I drove up to the stop sign a coyote crossed the street. It poked it’s head into a bunch of gofer holes then ran off. There is no mistaking a coyote for a dog but when I called one of my teammates at the bar to tell him about it I could tell he didn’t believe me. He passed on the word to others at the bar but I could tell they didn’t believe me either. About a week after that the headline in the SF Chronicle was, “Coyotes in Golden Gate Park!”
When I was a kid I grew up in Stinson Beach on a ranch. We were the last house on the hill before you went into the forest. There was a fox and a wolf we would see periodically. Probably the last fox and the last wolf in the area. When my brother, the neighbor kids and I would be playing we would get that feeling that someone was watching us and when we looked up there would be the fox or the wolf staring at us. Someone eventually shot the wolf but I’m not sure what happened to the fox. He just stopped making an appearance eventually. We also saw Mountain Lions once in a while. I don’t know why they didn’t eat us. We would wonder up the hill and into the woods and we would be gone all day. Cannon was 7, I was 5 and Case and Virgil were only 3. It could have only been the numbers that kept them away. Or maybe the hand-me-downs we wore. Or maybe they were just curious like we were.
When I was a kid I grew up in Stinson Beach on a ranch. We were the last house on the hill before you went into the forest. There was a fox and a wolf we would see periodically. Probably the last fox and the last wolf in the area. When my brother, the neighbor kids and I would be playing we would get that feeling that someone was watching us and when we looked up there would be the fox or the wolf staring at us. Someone eventually shot the wolf but I’m not sure what happened to the fox. He just stopped making an appearance eventually. We also saw Mountain Lions once in a while. I don’t know why they didn’t eat us. We would wonder up the hill and into the woods and we would be gone all day. Cannon was 7, I was 5 and Case and Virgil were only 3. It could have only been the numbers that kept them away. Or maybe the hand-me-downs we wore. Or maybe they were just curious like we were.
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