Seabird

I'm in Maine right now and there is a seabird here that sounds just like a chicken. Is it a Sea Chicken or a Chicken of the Sea? I wonder if it tastes like chicken or fish? It probably tastes like lobster.

Lights Out

Sunday before last I was sitting at home with nothing to do. It was a usual cold and windy summer night that makes you want to stay home. But I decided, "Fuck it! I'm going to the 75th anniversary of the Golden Gate Bridge." I had made dinner plans at a restaurant with a group of friends to watch the festivities but it fell apart. I jumped on my bike and rode to the Marina just in time to see the fireworks start. Some of the best fireworks I've ever seen. Almost as good as Bastille Day in France in the rain in 1987. I couldn't see cuz I'm so damned short so I did something I would never normally do. I got up on the hood of a brand new white SUV in the police parking lot so I could see. I had a great view. But for some reason they turned the lights out on the bridge! Wasn't that what it was all about? When I went home I rode my bike passed city hall. They usually light it to reflect what is happening outside the walls of the hall. Pink for Valentine's Day. Green and red for Christmas. It was glowing orange that night. I thought it was Halloween.

Brush With Fame

I have this package I have been trying to send for days. Last week I went to the local video store/post office but they were closed for vacation. Yesterday I went back and the door was open but the windows were all blacked out. I must have been distracted and didn't see the closed sign on the door. When I walked in the usual nice moms weren't there. The place was full of hot chicks and dudes. This guy came up to me and said, "Are you here for the shoot?" When I looked confused he told me that they were making an adult film and they needed extras if I wanted to be in it. I told him that I needed to go to work and everyone in the place said, "Oh, you should stay." But I had to go. I have a feeling I missed my 15 minutes with fame. Last night I went and trimmed weed for some extra cash. It was the classic set up. A ware house in the Bayview with an ill behaved pit bull named Sierra. A toilet but no sink. Just a hose going into the bathtub from the other room. Posters of naked women on the walls and an A's game on the radio. The guy who hired me was half an hour late and not quite all there when he finally arrived. He kept asking me the same questions over and over and remembering my answers wrong if he remembered them at all. He would leave for a while then come back more stoned and drunk every time. The first time he came back and did a deal. He told the guys about getting pulled over by the same cop twice in one night when he was so drunk he shouldn't have been driving at all. He left another time and came back with different guy and they played with guns and BMX bikes for a while. At the end of the night he owed me $100 and he handed me a five by accident because he was so toasted. I couldn't make this shit up. I have a feeling things are going down hill.

Another Reason I Should Stop Teaching

I found one more reason I should probably stop teaching. I am starting to think I am a bad influence. I finished the semester at DVC (Diablo Valley College-my dad calls it The Devil College) and one of my students, for his final, photographed himself doing things he is not supposed to do. Like holding a gun to someone's head at a In and Out Burger. Or ordering at the drive-thru without a car AND buck naked. Also, spray painting on a big cement wall, "Alice Shaw made me do it."

Location, Location, Location

My friend, who lives in upstate New York near where I was born, saw a sign the other day in someone's front yard that read, "FOR SALE-Free Kittens." Now I know where I get it all from.

Empty

Yesterday I was at Rainbow Grocery, the local health food store, getting spices in their bulk foods section. I happened to look at a shelf down below where I was standing and there was a jar for something called Memory Tea. It was empty. And it had a sign on it saying, "Temporarily Unavailable."

Lesson Learned

I think it might be time to stop teaching. I love it but nobody is hiring full-time teachers and, as a part-time teacher, I'm making the same amount of money I was 10 years ago. And with all the budget cuts things are not looking good. Not sure what is next. If I want to find a teaching job I will have to move to Northern Minnesota. Or maybe I will just move to Brazil. In the meantime, with no work, I've been occupying my time by going sailing on the bay, trips up the coast to eat oysters, going to see roller derby, the beach, and much, much more.